We all have that one room in our house that we dread cleaning, for what ever reason. Mine is the bathroom. And saying that out loud I realize that should be the damn cleanest room in the house. Well starting today I am going to work to change that. I cleaned the entire house today on 4.5 hours of sleep (yay bartending). And I am now enjoying an iced coffee and a composing session at my favorite coffee spot. Its relaxing to know that I will come home to a clean house today and maybe tomorrow (God knows with the fur children). I even cleaned off the kitchen table which doubles as my dump spot for everything I bring home, so yay more creative real estate, or I could even possibly start a new puzzle. Decisions.
I am reflecting on the need for "cleaning" as an artist. As a dancer and choreographer we always talk about cleaning the dances once they are taught so that they become precise, pristine, and in some ways almost mechanical in their technical precision. When working on a piece of music for theater, the lyrics and the piano part tend to be the part I need to go back and clean. Here I am referring to changing, revising, flushing out, and just plain making better these original thoughts. I started being brave for the sake of the larger picture and just getting something out, because something is a hell of a lot better than nothing. I also find myself so close to the piece that I cannot see the flaws, so after I 'finish' I jump to the next one, but I set reminders to go back and listen and be a bit critical on myself. The distance allows me to see if I made the right choices, or if I was going in the right direction. I am given the flexibility to adapt, fix, change, and really make better.
In my life, I am doing the same things. I am stepping back, I am pulling back. I am seeing if my decision were indeed correct, I am learning from them and I am making better ones. I was once told that "nothing should be so precious it cannot be change." I don't think I am changing, I am still me. I just think that maybe.... I'm cleaning.
Pictured above, one Crouton Eugene, cleaning me.
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